If you have ever been proposed to, you will know that a marriage proposal is beautiful. That moment is just epic, especially when made in public and in the most romantic way.
A marriage proposal can be private proposals or public proposals. Public proposals always draw attention, and in many situations, during public proposals, you see spectators shouting 'yes yes' from the background, thereby mounting pressure on the partners or lovers.
In many cases, I have observed that the girl may not be in a good position to accept the proposal and may not know a proper way to turn down the marriage proposals.
There are Many marriage proposals videos on social media that end in disgraceful manners. I saw one video recently where the guy proposed to the love of his life but ended up heartbroken.
One girl called his boyfriend stupid and other demeaning names in one of the videos, while another gave the guy a hot slap. These are not how it should be. There are better ways to turn down a marriage proposal and remain friends.
I have actually thought about what might be the cause of this disgraceful marriage proposal. Was it that they never discussed marriage or that the girl was so shocked and didn't know how to react.
Clacified is here to take you through decent ways to turn down a marriage proposal that won't leave your partner shattered. It is possible to turn down a marriage proposal and still be the best of friends.
Here are what is needed: How to compose oneself during marriage proposals and decent ways to turn down marriage proposals.
1. Head him off before the proposal
Before the moment of any marriage proposal, the persons involved should already have some slightest ideas.
Before any marriage proposal happens, the persons involved should have the slightest idea of it. There are times when he would have said it either directly or indirectly.
It is always good to give your partner a heads off before proceeding to conduct a public proposal.
Asking a person to have his or her hand in marriage comes with a lot of emotional weights. This may happen in public, such as a restaurant, an athletic stadium, your family's Christmas dinner, or some cleverly open place.
And to have to turn a person down after all that dramatic build-up will be humiliating for him. If the hints start coming thick and strong or discover a ring hidden somewhere, try to discuss before the proposal happens.
It is another crucial reason why partners should define their relationship before starting. If the relationship is for marriage, the partners, after dating for a while, should have known if it will work out or not.
Once one discovers that the relationship isn't heading the right way due to some character flaws, personality flaws and others, it is wise to end the relationship instead of leading the other person.
Do not lead each other on when you are very sure the relationship will not end in marriage.
2. Do not play along with his hints
Your partner may have been giving you a hint about his proposal. Some persons will get the hint and still go-ahead to play.
In an ideal world, the topic of marriage would come up without mind games. However, since this is an emotional issue, many people will test the waters before they propose.
This may come in-jokes, veiled comments, or other subtle "hints". If your partner raises the issue of marriage, even casually, make your position clear but polite or call him or her out to clarify.
Your partner may comment such as, "This house would be perfect for a married couple." Such comment is a signal. Your partner is indirectly giving you a hint that he may like not to end up with you, and when such hints come severally, marriage proposals becomes the next.
So when such hints are thrown to you, reply with your own hint; Something like "It will be nice for you and your wife." or in some cases, you can be as direct as possible."Honey, you keep making comments about married couples and such. Are you trying to tell me something? I'd rather you be direct with me instead of making confusing comments.'
3. Do not be harsh
Let's assume he didn't give you any hint and propose unexpectedly. It might happen to be a public proposal. I understand such proposals comes with shock and anger. Anger that he didn't give you heads up.
It’s always good to say no. And that’s because what you want is far more important than what other people expect you to do. However, since a public proposal can, unfortunately, draw unwanted attention, harassment, and potentially concern your safety, it can take more than a simple "no" to curtail the situation.
At that moment, you can take a deep breath, calm your nerves and make sure you are in control of your emotion.
4. Head him off before turning down his proposal
During public proposals, it is advisable to head your partner off before turning down his proposals. You guys are in the public's eyes, and turning him down publicly will amount to huge insult and embarrassment.
At this juncture, it will be advisable to give your partner a heads off, help him stand up, walk him to private place before turning down the proposals, or you can give him a signal to move to another location.
This is not only mature, but your partner will also appreciate you for saving him from lots of disgrace.
5. Set and make your relationship goals known
Always set goals in your relationship. In every relationship one enters, the vision should be clearly defined. Equally, make sure that you and your partner have the same vision.
Your relationship goals maybe marriage, companionship or friends with benefit. At every level, ask your partner what vision and goals he has for the relationship.
If yours is marriage, but hers is friends with benefit, you see it will definitely end in tears, and you can retrace your steps and get a plan B. There is no harm in asking to know the intentions of your partner.