So, the other day, I was sitting on the balcony working with my two other friends. We were all remote/work from home ladies.
Since our jobs were majorly online, it afforded us the flexibility to work from anywhere, which must not be an office.
Our house is a storey building, and we were on the first floor. With other houses closeby, you could easily see what your neighbour sitting or standing on the balcony was doing.
With the three of us busy with what we were doing on our Personal Computers a thought came to my mind, "What if we were boys and not girls?"
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Assuming we were guys sitting with our PCs seemly submerged in whatever we were doing during working hours when other men 'should be at work', probably neighbours' mouth would start wagging.
We would have been labelled Yahoo boys!
Do I have to explain what Yahoo boys mean? Well, unless you are not a Nigerian... yahoo boys means guys who are internet fraudsters.
The funny part is that females are rarely suspected of yahoo business; it's always the guys.
You see, Nigeria consists of a very wonderful and funny set of people. You'd be judged by random things that mean little or nothing in the western world.
You will be tagged a prostitute for wearing beads on your waist or legs and gay for taking care of your skin and outlook if you are a man.
And what about Yahoo boys, how do Nigerians identify them?
We will talk about the signs below. You might just be shocked to find out you are a yahoo boy according to the Nigerian metric for fishing out yahoo boys.
1. You braided, locked or dyed your hair
What you do with your hair plays a significant role in the way people perceive you here. Generally, our parents see boys that braid their hair or dye it to a different colour as irresponsible.
I know of a boy who his father tagged a cultist simply because he refused to go on a very low cut. The boy preferred leaving some hair on his head (what we normally call mini-afro).
How does that even make him a cultist? Well, don't ask me, leave that question for your parents when you get home.
So, braiding, locking (dreadlock) or dying your hair to some other colour is on the top list of yahoo suspect signs in Nigeria.
2. You wear earrings or ear studs
Oh, so it's not enough that you did something with your hair, you went ahead to add ear accessories to it?
See, in this part of the world, there are boundaries set for what each gender should or should not do. Females wearing trousers is still frowned upon in some parts of Nigeria.
The same applies to men wearing earrings or wearing studs in their ears.
Well, unless you are a known celebrity, don't say you weren't told when the police bundle you into their van and charge you for a crime you didn't commit. Hehehe.
3. You ride a sleek Benz
The general notion is that we are all poor in this country, so why should you be driving a Benz when you are not a politician?
It seems looting public funds here is a more acceptable form of crime; thus, it appears more permissible to leave ostentatious lifestyle if your source of income is from that public purse.
Anyways, what do I know? If you are riding the highways on a high-end luxury car like Benz, just be careful especially, if you are a lowkey hustler whose name doesn't ring a bell.
What do you think the #EndSARS protest was all about? This is part of it, arresting innocent people and pinning on them a crime they didn't commit.
4. You use iPhone
During that period when EndSARS protest was ongoing, you'd hear people tell stories of their experiences with that notorious arm of the Police Force called SARS.
If you paid attention to the trend, you'd notice that they were targeting and extorting money from young men who they feel are living large.
A friend talked about how they were apprehended by SARS simply because they possessed iPhones and had a car. Do we call this poverty mentality or not?
Anyways, possessing and iPhone makes it to this list of signs that show you are a yahoo boy in Nigeria.
5. You are always seen with your PC
This is the master sign of a Yahoo boy.
Oh well, since we are still technologically backwards, people will always wonder what are you doing with a personal computer at home when others are in the office working.
Not many people will believe you when you say you have a legit job or business you are running online, and that is quite funny.
Okay, this post doesn't dispel the fact that some people are into illegal activities online in Nigeria.
However, it is 'ridiculously funny' when people are judged and tagged criminals because they are not on a low cut or because of the types of phones or cars they choose to use and ride.