Dating: 5 Heartbreaking things under-30 Nigerian men can relate to
Late teens and early 20s can be trying times for men when it comes to relationship or dating issues. Many recount those early youthful years with sad and funny stories. Is a relationship in Nigeria that hard?
Okay, I know at this point my readers would have the notion that I am always on the neck and affairs of Nigerian men but believe me when I say I love our men. I mean, they are lovely people.
Forget what some people say about them - talks like Nigerian men are not romantic etc. I tell you with the right woman, you'd see them show their romantic side (even though some have a funny way of showing that).
Besides, some of them have been through a lot in past relationships which gave them distorted views of relationship and love.
As a man in Nigeria, dating in the late teens and early 20s can be an extreme sport. I'm sure men reading this will attest to that.
That stage is the stage where you have to develop a tough skin to many relationship matters, including "rejection". If you don't, matters of the heart might turn you into a fool at 40 (trust some of my fellow Nigerian women).
5. Heartbreaking relationship experiences under-30 Nigerian men can relate to
If you are a man reading this, you might be pushed into a sad mood as you read through because you are likely to relate to one or two out of the list. It's all for fun but feel free to let the emotions out.
Hey, I know you are a man and shouldn't be seen letting out the emotions, but trust me not to tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me!
1. The ladies you meet, see you as a small boy
You know that moment when you just turned 20 and gained admission into the university only to meet this fine-ass lady, and you fall in love. The 'love at first sight', you know. :grin:
"Please don't insult me!", sadly some men get that response after pouring their hearts out
But she is in 300 level, and you are in 100 level. You talk to your guys about it (a bunch of newbies like you), and they tell you, "Omo level no matter. She's in 300 level, she might even just be 18".
They tell you to "apply pressure", in BBNaija former housemate, BrightO's voice. They give you the 'morale', and off you go to meet her.
Oh well, most already know how this sort of story ends. She will first ask you your level, and the next thing is likely to be, "You are still a small boy, please find your level".
Eiya, sorry, dear. If you experienced that or a similar situation, don't let it weigh you down. Remember the slogan: The Young Shall Grow.
2. You are still getting pocket money from dad, so no money to spend on babe
Chai, the days of 'daddy and mummy's boy' are not easy on our men. Those days when you are still struggling with N15,000 pocket money for the month.
You are still eating from mummy's pot and collecting pocket money from daddy and you expect these women to take you serious? Really?
By the time, you buy handouts, buy food and pay for transport fare, how much will be remaining to share with your babe? Oh well, unless for those that their parents are quite influential and have much money to spare.
For those that receive meagre allowances, these poor young men watch with a heavy heart as richer or older men take their women from them. It's a painful something.
The funny part is that some of these young men go as far as lying to their poor parents, extorting money from them in order to keep their girls but guy, I tell you, "game wey go cut, go cut. For how long will you keep up with that?"
Do you care for a piece of advice? Well, I will still say it whether you respond with a yes or a no.
Stop putting the extra burden on your poor parents, start thinking of ways to hustle. I will tell you the blunt truth. Many things revolve around money, including keeping a woman. Why do you think they advise couples not to get married if they don't have a stable source of income?
Even for ladies like us that are not money-driven in relationships (oh yes, we exist. Will you beat me for saying that?), we still want our men hustling it out. We want success stories both for ourselves and for our men. Who no like better thing abeg?
But, the issue of keeping a girl aside, if you don't want the feeling of helplessness that comes with not having money to do some of the things you want to do, hustle o. My brother hustle!
3. Meeting new people seems to be a herculean task
Younger men are usually limited to dating women of a certain age range. See it this way; If you are 30+, you can date almost any girl within the age range of 18 to 30 and even above 30.
The fear of rejection keeps younger men from making attempts to meet new people
This is because, at your age, you are perceived to be mature, ready to settle down and in most cases, loaded with cash as well.
They say, "age is not a number but, truth be told, most women attach lots of importance to the age number. If you are 23 or 24, it would be hard for you to meet a lady of 27 and tell her that you like her and want a relationship with her.
Try that, and in 80 per cent of the cases you will get statements like, "See this small boy", "It's like you don't have respect". You are likely to get an automatic rejection.
So, our younger men have no option but to stick with searching for love among women their age mates or below their age even if they feel they are in love with one who is older. Also, the fear of rejection keeps them from going out there to meet new people.
4. The sugar mummies come for them while they lose their women to sugar daddies
You'd be surprised to find out that an elderly man whisked off your 23-year-old girlfriend to the Bahamas for vacation
As my people say, "This life no balance at all". I know we already pointed out the fact that older women usually reject the younger men, but that doesn't apply to the case of sugar mummies.
You'd see a 25 young man trying to make ends meet, chasing arohnd 23-year old Jesica with his meagre N40,000 salary. Then, boom! A sugar mummy of 45+ appears out of nowhere offering him a monthly income of N250,000 to be her 'boy'.
Sorry, I had to use 'boy' there. I hope I didn't offend anyone, but I was short of the right word or term to use.
In another scenario, the young man who was managing his N40,00 and sharing it with Jessica could wake up one day to find out that Jessica has left him for a 55-year-old daddy who bought her a 'tear rubber' SUV with promises of taking her to Dubai. *Sighs.
5. Breaking up because their girlfriend want to get married
This one is a common topic - two people supposedly in love breaking up because the other (usually the girl) is getting married to another man.
Maybe your love got rejected at the end but, at least you tried
For some ladies who like being realistic, they are likely to ask on time what the plans of their boyfriends are for them. Are they willing to settle down with them and when that will be?
If it looks like something that will take too long, they dissolve the relationship and leave on time. Men usually find it easier to deal with such a case.
But you know the more heartbreaking one? The one where you were with bae just about three days ago and woke up today to see her wedding picture flooding your Facebook Timeline.
Well, what can I say? Welcome to the world of under 30 men. These experiences are not far-fetched in our society. Which can you relate to?
Show this to a friend that went through any of the experiences listed here so they can laugh it off. Life is too short to live with sadness.