Relationship: A happy ending is likely impossible
From primary school, I remember watching Cinderella movies and have ever cherished happy ending, and I have so many times envisaged a fabulous ending. However, I have grown to see another side of relationship and love, and I'm moved to say happy ending may likely be impossible.
From primary school, I remember watching Cinderella movies and have ever cherished happy ending. I have so many times envisaged a fabulous end. You know the Cinderella stories right, a situation whereby one will fall in love with his prince charming and at the end, live ever happily after.
The thought of falling in love with my Prince charming filled my head. I waited patiently to grow up to find indeed a prince charming in shining armour that will love, care and cherish me forever.
It didn't stop there. I moved to secondary school and made Korean movies my companion. Korean film isn't far from Cinderella story just that in this case, the girl and his heartthrob have to play hide and seek until they finally fell for each other and lived happily ever after.
From Korean, I moved to Indian drama series, oh! It's better experienced than imagined. You should know Indians and their love stories, how the two lover birds keep experiencing butterfly in the stomach at any slightest contact.
This has been the image built up in my psyche all through my life. I'm so pathetic, right?
It isn't my fault, after all, I was taught then that art reflects the society so I believed that whatever is seen on the screen is a work of art and as such should be the real image of the society. Yea! I felt relationships are what we see on screen, on Indian and Korean movies but I think I should have a re-think.
As I continued to grow, I saw other sides of love and relationship I haven't seen, and I began to wonder if a happy ending is possible.
Can what we see on the screen be achieved in real life?
I have seen people that started friendship as kids, nurtured it until at a mature age but never ended up together. There is always this torn that scourge it once it is getting riped.
In the world of today, there is pressure on the girl child more than any other gender— the pressure to get a handsome, rich guy to marry. Our society has made marriage the priority of every girl child.
Even though some ladies seem to defer this prototype, it's not always smooth for them, and many tend to regret at the end.
I specifically am thinking that the pressure of marital settlement on the side of the female folks are the significant reasons why a happy ending seems to be far fetched in the world of today.
Let go this way. You had a secondary school best friend; it was an innocent and pure love that knows no bound. Both of you grew up to attend the same university and probably studied the same course.
While in the third year, as a Lady, many suitors started trooping into your father's compound seeking for your hand in marriage.
You have suitors that live in best places in Lagos drives latest Benz and also 'Bear breaded gang', while your said childhood best friend is just a third-year student of political science.
At this juncture, what happens to the relationship? A lot of pressure is on you to get married. When you turned to left, your mother will remind you that you are a woman and has a limited time for marriage, turn right, your friends are not encouraging you at all.
At this level, one ought to let go right!? What then happens to the happy ending?
Another factor I will consider will be the pursuit of pleasures and wealth by the 21st-century young men.
During the time of our fathers, one can quickly get married without fulfilling all his dreams because he is assured that his wife is coming to see that all his dreams are fulfilled.
That's not the case with the young men of this day; everyone wants to buy the latest Benz and build the fashionable house before marrying.
If they should fulfil all their dreams before getting married, what then is the work of the wife when she enters. Even the bible described a woman as a helpmate to the man.
I do not in any way encourage a young man who can't feed himself to get a wife, but one mustn't ride a Benz before settling down especially when you have seen your soulmate who have been waiting patiently for you.
Both parties can come together to pursue purpose and fulfil their dreams.
The bible also said that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtained favour from God. It only means some doors are expected to open once a man gets married because he has received favour from God.
We have talked about societal pressure; it's worthy of note that some are not facing any pressure but lack the virtue of patience and endurance.
Some dedicated, hardworking young men just need encouragement and patience from their partner to succeed. However, many a time, their partner always fail to exercise such required patience.
A very critical look into the case may portray it may not be their fault as waiting for any guy in this era is as risky as going to Sambisa forest to fight Boko haram.
In this age of moral decadence, an age whereby men make sex the top priority in marriage and chase after ladies with big boobs and large hips, it takes the height of loyalty and love to wait for any man. Many have left their 'trained and well brought' childhood friends to run after 'slay mamas' who have mastered every art of sex and its position.
Some good ladies have waited despite pressures from parents and peer group; in the end, it turns out to be wasted time and energy.
Some ladies have turned marriage to be a game of chess and see it as the best way of enjoying on planet earth without much suffering. It is a two-way thing; each gender suffers from it.
This group employ many tactics to hunt down their desired men. I think this group should best be referred to as 'gold diggers'. Funnily enough, many cute, handsome and rich guys fall for them more than the said, good girls.
A friend of mine once said that 'Today's relationship and marriage suffer violently and the violence takes it by force'.
In some cases, those that exercised the required patience are later abandoned when it's time for the harvest. I am a witness to such a scenario whereby the young lady waited for years, then to be discarded by the boyfriend.
The fear of abandonment after much time has been wasted tend to contribute mainly to an impossibly happy ending.
Many ladies marry who is ready not whom they love, and the guy will, in turn, marry who is prepared when he makes money because whom he loved has married another.
The eternal question seeking for an answer is; can happy ending we usually see on Tv screen be achieved in a real-life situation, or one should see it as just an unrealistic side of love?
Secondly, can we still employ the ministry of waiting in a relationship not minding the shape relationships are taking in today's life or should one move on with life to avoid regrets at the end?