5 Ways to tell when a creepy lover is stalking you

Emeh Joy

Some people say love makes someone act "stupid" but have you ever dated someone that is creepy and stalks you almost all the time? You might not even realize it on time; here are four easy ways to spot a creepy, stalking lover.

How do you know your lover is creepy and a stalker who stalks your every move

Some people say love makes someone act "stupid" but have you ever dated someone that is creepy and stalks you almost all the time? You might not even realise it on time.

Some lovers are so obsessed with their partners that they check out everything about them and everything they do. It is not wrong to know what is going on in your partner's life, but some people who act in such manner do so because of a lack of trust.

You see them monitor every move their partners make without their partners knowing what they are doing. Some end up reading meaning into meaningless things. I call that "reward for stalking".

It is at this point you see such men or women get jealous or even flare up at their partners for minor issues such as smiling and waving at a partner while standing on the bank queue.

Have you noticed that the man you are dating or about to date is creepy and monitor every single move you make?

While you might not face violence from your lover, instances of stalking are quite common. You stand the chance of losing your freedom with such a relationship.

Do you want to protect yourself and your emotions from falling into this sort of "bondage relationship"? Here are few signs to help you spot a creepy lover, so you don't fall into trouble because of a relationship.

1. When the person knows too much about you and you barely know them

Now, don't get me wrong here. It is lovely and totally amazing for someone asking you out to know details about you. I'd like my person to be interested in me and things concerning me.

But, imagine when you just met this guy or lady and they already know your favourite cafe in town, the route you always take home, what you wore to class on Tuesday, the colleague you went on a lunch break with without you telling him/her all these.

While the full attention can mean love, don't you think it's a bit fishy when you have only a faint idea about them? Isn't it a one-way street?

2. Intense probe into your personal life

Are you in a relationship or about to enter a relationship with someone that makes you feel like life is being choked out of you? You feel like you don't even have some space to yourself.

With a relationship like that, you are likely to get exhausted quickly because at a point you'd want to have some breath of air because they are seemly choking the life out of you!

They know everything going on in all your social media pages. They see what you tweeted and who quoted your tweet. They know those that replied to your post on Facebook. They know who chatted you on Whatsapp. They know the number of followers you have on Instagram and know when that number changes.

You will notice that they monitor your personal life so much that you wonder if they don't have a life. You'd feel like yelling and telling them in the Nigerian way, "Woman free me, get a life!"

3. Too many coincidences

Do you find yourself in a position where you frequently experience hard-to-believe coincidences with your lover?

For instance, you always bump into him maybe at the shopping mall, when you go out for a drink with a friend, at places you never really told him you were going to and never expect them to be?

It might be a case of wearing matching clothes on the same day, "accidentally" buying similar things, attending the same show on the same day etc.

Okay someone will say this is cute while another might conclude that these are signs that "we are meant to be". Watch it though; they might have been watching your every step all the while without your knowledge.

4. Secretive behaviour

I don't know if secretive is the right word to use here or "creepy". Do they stutter when you call them asking what they are doing? Do they disappear for hours or days without telling you what they were doing with the time?

Oh well, they might have been watching you while in hiding all that while. Perhaps you haven't heard such stories, but some 'stalkers' follow their 'victims' even when they travel out of town to keep a tab on them.

Maybe you should confront them directly about what they have been up to; just to clear all doubts.

5. Intense interrogation and repetitive question

When a relationship is new, you won't realise how exhausting this is because you will see it as romantic behaviour. The person would call frequently asking your whereabouts, what you are doing, who you are with.

Okay, at this point you might be thinking I'm a killjoy until that relationship gets past six months and you realise you are tired of those 'romantic gestures'.

I would love it for my man to check up on me really. I love keeping that communication line open always. I will love for him to be interested in my whereabouts, but excessive questioning and probing of everything I do doesn't sit well with me.

Imagine your partner calls you by 7 a.m and you told her your plans for the day. You want to meet a client at the cafe by 8;30 a.m. By 8;30 a.m, she calls to ask if you are with the client and yes you are.

One hour later, she calls again to ask if you are still with the client. She asks where you are. What you are doing, why you are there by that time, who you are with.

This cycle continues every day. She is intense with her questioning and won't let go until all questions are answered to her satisfaction. Will you still see this as a romantic gesture? Exactly! I'm sure you won't.

When your partner is exhibiting signs like these, it is vital that you analyse it from a third-person point of view. Find out why they do it. Don't they trust you, or are they just trying to control you?

It would be best if you also ran a self-analysis to be sure you aren't the problem. For instance, in the first point made, could it be that you are not making even the slightest effort to know your partner and the effort they are making (which is normal) seems overwhelming for you?