How to deal with breakup after a long term relationship

How to deal with breakup after a long term relationship
EJ
Emeh Joy

It's hard dealing with a breakup, especially after a long term relationship. When love is involved, a breakup would definitely lead to that depressing feeling of heartbreak.

I have heard many sad breakup stories. While some of the breakups stem from serious issues, others are just as a result of trivial matters which should have been sorted only if both partners were willing to sort it.

Relationships can be hard to handle, as it involves two adults with different minds. Arguments, fights, issues are bound to arise. But, what about when it all ends in a breakup, especially after many years of being together?

Who has been there before? Are you there currently? How did you handle your break up after a long term relationship? In fact, did you at any point see the breakup coming?

Ways to get over a breakup after a long term relationship

Have you ever been in love? If you have, then you must agree with me that getting over a relationship with someone you have been in love with for many years can be challenging.

However, it doesn't mean it is impossible. I mean, life has to continue, right? You have to get up and get moving! Don't give room for the pity-party thing.

I will provide for you here useful tips on how to get over that ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend of yours. Trust me; these tips would make things much easier for you.

Just so you know:

I'm not a relationship doctor. But I bring to you real relationship talks, gists, stories and of course tips drawn out of experience and the experiences of others. You can gain insight on how to tackle your relationship matters here.

So, let's jump right into how you can get back up to your feet after a long term relationship breakup.

Accept that the relationship has ended

Good things sometimes end too, you know? You might not see it coming, it wasn't your plan from the onset, but it did end. Now, it is time to accept reality.

Accept that the relationship has ended. Burn that bridge if you have to

Don't live in denial of that. As hard as it might seem, don't try too hard to force yourself back into the life of another person especially if they have told you repeatedly and made it clear to you that they don't want you in their life any more.

Some people make the mistake of holding on to someone that has long left them. If it was your fault that the relationship ended and you are genuinely sorry, show that you are sorry, forgive yourself and move on.

If you are the one hurt, you only need to forgive the other partner that hurt you. Now, I'm not in the position to advise on whether you should let them back into your life or not. That part is entirely up to you to decide.

However, it would be best if you forgave them. Forgiveness here is not just for them but for yourself, particularly; you need it to heal.

Let out the emotions

A bad breakup usually leaves you in shock, a numb sort of feeling I would say. At first, it might be hard to accept, especially when it is someone you are in love with.

It would be hard to accept that what you two shared has come to an end. But, you have to accept that reality.

Let out the emotions. Talk to a friend or go out to some quiet place and let it out. Allow the tears flow if you feel like

You also have to let it all out. No, don't repress it. Don't say "I'm a man and can't be seen crying over a girl". Every human is created with emotions, and it is absolutely okay to be caught up in an emotional moment.

So, if it feels like the tears want to flow, allow them to flow. If you get the feeling that the words want to spill out, then, by all means, spill it all out.

Look for your friend and spill it and talk about it. It might seem like you are making your breakup the main point of the conversation, but talking about it sometimes will help.

I must say here that not all friends will support you with this particular tip. If you are a male, some will tell you things like "omo jazz up. Forget woman matter".

Find a friend that will listen to you first because that is what you need at that initial point. Yes, we know you will need to "jazz up", but you need to let go of the emotions and spill it all out first.

Get busy and revel in the little things you do on your own

This article is starting to sound sad right? No, we don't want that. I'm not here to give you sad talks. So, my friend, "Jazz up"!

There are a lot of things you can do on your own. Get busy! Get on the journey to self-discovery

After releasing the pent up emotions, it is time to get up and get busy. The earth won't stop revolving because of your failed long term relationship, you know?

Continue with your life. If you had plans you mapped out for the two of you; you have to redraw that map now. If you have other plans in place before the relationship ended, go ahead to bring those plans to life.

Your success shouldn't be tied to some other man or woman. Learn to grow on your own with or without them. In life, we are only answerable to ourselves; another person is only there to complement us.

Don't say you can't do it without them even if they were your close confidant. "You can if you say you can"!

Stop stalking them

Really? You are stalking your ex on all social media platforms. For what reason exactly? Oh, you want to know if they are laughing or living without you?

Stop stalking your ex. They have started living their lives. Start living yours

Come on; stalking is uncalled for. Just so you know, they are living even without you in the picture. So, you just have to accept it and make peace with the fact that life doesn't always play out the way we want it.

In fact, it would help if you restrict yourself from seeing their social media posts. You don't necessarily have to block them but if there is a way of removing them from your social media feeds, go ahead and do that...for your own good.

Seeing them or pictures of them all in your face as you are struggling to forget what you two shared, might not help you. So, do yourself some favour and cut them off at least for sometime before engaging them again.

Stop blaming yourself and start doing the things you love

I have seen people who had a sad breakup after years of sticking with their partner blame themselves for loving too hard. Some wonder what they did wrong and question why they were not good enough.

Get back on track and start doing those things you love doing

I totally understand that feeling, but you should stop the blames and stop wallowing in self-pity. You probably might not be the problem. They probably didn't hold you, dear, as much as you held them.

You should start living your life and start doing the things you love doing. It doesn't matter if they were things you were doing as a couple- hiking, travelling, going for the movies, dancing, go ahead and do them on your own.

You just might not know how gratifying it is to do the things you love doing even though it is done independently.

Remember not to be afraid to give love another chance. After all, some times, one door closes, and a better door opens. The one that would appreciate you and reciprocate your love might just be on the way.

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